Lala Xu 徐佳莹 - Acrophobia 惧高症 MV [HD]

We are gone

On this, your graduation day all stand and give cheer

To honor you for all the work you've done to get you here. As we rise and give applause be sure you don't forget

That learning is not over as your future plans are met.

May you always be a listener and learn from all you meet

Always keep a student's spirit and your life will be complete.

Keep On Keepin' On

If the day looks kinder gloomy

And your chances kinder slim,

If the situation's puzzlin'

And the prospect's awful grim,

If perplexities keep pressin'

Till hope is nearly gone,

Just bristle up and grit your teeth

And keep on keepin' on.

Frettin' never wins a fight

And fumin' never pays;

There ain't no use in broodin'

In these pessimistic ways;

Smile just kinder cheerfully

Though hope is nearly gone,

And bristle up and grit your teeth

And keep on keepin' on.

There ain't no use in growlin'

And grumblin' all the time,

When music's ringin' everywhere

And everything's a rhyme.

Just keep on smilin' cheerfully

If hope is nearly gone,

And bristle up and grit your teeth

And keep on keepin' on.

I have a Confession to make .

Dear Rachel ,
                     You're cute , funny and awesome . You make me realize how my life actually are . Knowing you is like a best gift from god . We more than a friends , we are like family. Hey sistar , the song crazier remind me of you because you are the crazier in my life . Sometimes seeing you sad , I feel like going sad too . You're amazing like always . haha , even though this note short but is nice to have you in my life . Love you cherry , cheer up . The song cherry cherry boom boom remind me of you because you're a cherry . =D

Dear Lin Vin ,
                     You're cool , cooler than me . Have most of the funny conversation with you. You in inspire me a lot , like a lot . Now this , you always tweet about football and most important is you in love with a new man which is stevie . Aha , the way you speak make me laugh . I can't fight with you cause I know you gonna win the battle , so ya. I'm gonna remember you will Cesc fabreges sandwich and Mrs.Raymond . 愛不疚 remind me of you cause that song is my fav all the damn time .

Dear Lara ,
                 you being thru a lot this year. Being an emotiona doll this year , you make me realize How suck is my life man . But today and now , you have been fall in love with someone you dream to be , he is your prince charming , glad to heard you are in his life . Sometimes , I just jealous that you are such a lucky dolls in the earth . You and your personality is the most thing I jealous about . Hahaha , you're stunning and pretty . Having you in my life is like worth than anything man . Sometimes you cheer me up yo which I appreciate a lot . haha Kangaroo next year babe . Hip's don't lie remind me of you cause you're that sexy like shakira

Dear Niki ,
                 You are such a nice friend man . Still remember how we meet ? ha , the story begin how I got my facebook man . I still remember after the PMR trip , I always hangout in your class . One day , few days before school end , you borrow me your white Dell laptop to create facebook . aha this is how i begin my facebook life . Thanks yo , hahaha if not you I won't have those thousand friends man . Sorry for making fun of you and Kar keat . I lifeless la , aha . Sorry Ya Is my appoligize accepted ? haha thunder remind me of cause you miss that concert . HAH

Dear Shamyra ,
                       Hey shamiboobs . I kinda missed you , I have no idea why . Aussie next year okay ? I doesn't spent that much time with you compare to rachel and lara . You kurang active in twitter la , please shamiboobs ,  active la sikit . ahaha so we can bitch about people. You never being thru anything like me and rachel . We basically emo for few hours or pisses for few hours then happy back . aha Whataya Want From Me is for you , you love his smooky eyes and perfect eyeliner .

Dear Sofia ,
                  OMGOSH , I'M GONNA MISS YOU KAO KAO MAN . well , how we start ? we talk less this year , i have no idea why . WHy ah ? aha , never mind . I bet next year we will be bitching about someone together . Aha , I did tears when i did your present cause too touching already . aha , you own me 1 next year . Seriously , I god miss you now . Well , we won't be meeting up so much next year , coming weeks we must spent some quality time toegether before we go diffrent ways. Dota will gonna be the song for you in my mind cause you lap it so much . Dota Dota

Dear Mira ,
                 The wish for my birthday this is Wish you will here with me . aha but seems that the dream will come a bit late la . You been thru with me kinda lot , you teach me how should I moved forward to my life , dum all the crap behind and just move on . You make me really sometimes I need a perfect getaway , Ya I really should . Maybe After SPM , me you and Liann for a Sentosa trip , beach volleyball seems better than anything . You making my life should be full of happiness , sadness must less . Yo're the best , Glad to heard you doing well in italy. If I have a bunch of cash , I will come to Italy to meet at you then have a week vacation in capri , that will be PERFETTO . aha , come back to malaysia as soon as you can , we need a lot of outing and perfect catch up moment .  Memories willl be yours cause me and you must always make a great memories together .

Dear Shanice ,
                      I'm gonna miss your signature look . Still remember how the hell we meet ? Well , all because of shermaine I guess . No matter how we meet , we will still become the best buddy kan ? Shan , you change a lot , since the day you came back from Japan , you change like My god , but I still recognize you . Aha , the way you talk to me when it comes to "erm" you will be totally different , more to a friends maybe siblings talk , Haha , I'm gonna graduate this friday , ain't chu gonna miss me ? Oh well , I will come back sometimes la if the assignment doesn't burn me down la . Haha , Please come for prom . ROCK THAT BODY , you and me , you make me crazy that song sometimes .

Dear Shermaine ,
                         You facking bitch . Where have you been man ? We need to talk man , 5 days more I will be gone , can you just spent few days with me . Aha , Dolls  I still remember you scold me like a crazy mad doll man . You teach me the way to solve a problem , you teach me moving forward my life like everyone above did , this is what a 3 years and few months friendship . aha Thanks yo , I realize is not easy and kinda tough but at the end I finally can say I'm over with the situation . Don't chu feel proud of it ? Well , yes Life isn't that easy yes it true , sometimes looking at the brightside  is the way to looking forward for life . aha wait , where the hell is my present man ? Neve rmind la , I don't have the blast at my birthday either so ya . I'm leaving this place soon , miss me okay ? haha Pinky promiss .

Dear Yi Jing ,
                    You're my laughing gas like sometimes la . Aha , We had Sushi lunch in a roll . You laugh the most , and you eat the slowest and yap . Well , Is okay , no point of blamming you right since you make most of us laugh like an idiot shit . Aha , glad to meet you even through just few months ago . We meet tru the internet , like online speed dating but this is friends dating lo . We all know who is your admire la . JAJAJAJAJA , Well thanks for making me laugh all the dam time man , I'm gonna miss ngau ngau man . HAHA I'm gonna set my ringtone as Love the way you lie because this song remind me of you , in the good way la .

Dear Jing Mun ,
                        Yo crazy kids in the town . aha what a nice name for you man . I still remember how we met , we use like like each other status in facebook because dam emo , then 1 day somehow out of no way I talk to you in facebook chat , asking weather you okay anot I bet that is how we meet . Haha , you are a nice friend and you always cheer people up by your craziness . My god each time you laugh , jump , talk is like the  weirdest doll in the world man , I like the way you make people smile all the dam time . *WINK WINK * Haha don't chu fee proud ? My god . Had the best time with you the past weeks and months . You always make my day into candy land . Thanks Yo , I hope we can have more spent so we can CAMWHORE a lot . Oh yeah , camwhore reminds me of you because you can camwhore where ever , whenever with who ever you are , nice , if I camwhore people will say ewww man but you LIKE LIKE LIKE . hahaha Gonna leaving this school in 5 days time , are you gonna miss me ? If we free , we will have like friday date with yi jing and lovy in leisure mall . SAKAE SAKAI . Aha On anytime okay ? teenage dream remind me of you , cause of youe message tone .

Dear Lovy ,
                 My god , you pretty woman . Well , we talk a lot yesterday in pav and skype . Yes , Your smile always make me smile , if someone can't smile when their stand in front of , I think their have mental problem man . Aha , the song 下雨天 remind me of you because you love that song that much . yesh , that much . Please don't cry anymore and don't cry on friday please . we need camwhoring alot this friday . Aha bye

Dear Ezzat ,
                  You idiot la . hahaha Skype with me , and stop saying yourself is the most sexy man please , perasan much . okay <3 I just realize you look like aideit . Glad to meet you this year yo and thanks for that flashing off . =P <3

So far I can only think this few cause their make my years the most . well , others please don't get jealous yours will come 1 day when I miss you > ahahha WTF

                      

Doesn't Stop

Another Autumn November,
Another month has fallen.
Though time passes by,
Your name my minds calling.

Your memory still lingers,
A part of that day.
I really wish to see you,
But you've faded away.

The longing doesn't stop,
Disbelief won't go.
Nights pass in mourning,
Silently, though.

Your essence follows me,
Little pieces of you.
I remember that moment,
That I wished was un-true.

And now the days pass,
As have the years.
I often think of you,
Shed lonely tears.

Visit you rarely,
It still cuts too much.
I feel lost from you,
So out of touch.

You took that connection,
But our bond still holds strong.
I still breaks me up,
After so long.

And thought things keep moving,
Along with what I know.
I still find it hard,
Hard to let you go.

When irises die..

When irises die..
And all my tears run dry..
Your voice echoes in my mind..
Begging me to try..
But Why? How can I?
You're gone!
I cant feel your presence any more..
I keep waiting behind the door,
Yearning for the sound of your breath on the other side..
Longing for a glimpse of my blue sky. 
Now I'm forever cold.. laying there on the cement floor.. 
The fire that once burned is now struggling with what's left..
I can see the green flames dancing their last waltz. 
Fading into the endless night..
And as the last petal of my iris falls down, 
A smile drifts upon my face.
I understand now..
I too shall fade .. 
Its aroma takes me there..up there where the stars shimmer and shine.
You hold my hand and I shiver..
That warmth .. that fire..
I'm revived .. I'm alive!!
My angel.. My heaven!! 

Blame Me

Blame me some more
Blame me for anything you want
That's it keep blaming me

Blame me so much that I can't get up anymore
Blame me till I can't even walk
Blame me for all that is wrong with you

Blame me if that's what makes you feel better
Keep blaming me until you feel better
I don't care anymore
I get blamed all the time

Having one more person blame me won't hurt me
Just keep blaming me if that's what you want

Blame Me 

I need it right now like RIGHT NOW .

where is my victoria secret bra ?

Me ? You ? or the bitch ?

Yesterday

Faded memories sleep in dusty frames, 
lining a wall where the words meant everything.
A sunny day, bridal veil dancing in the breeze.
Rainy afternoons, boots jumping in puddles.
All these are just reminders of yesterday.

Now the frames are cracked, worn with age.
too many bad images litter the faux smiles,
too many insolent screams volleyed in this room.
Now the people in the photos are gone,
reminding me of the yesterday I long for.

I lay down, clutching these photos to my chest:
praying that maybe the emotions will rush back,
that the happiness of youth might return.
I close my eyes, shutting away the hot tears,
dreaming of the yesterday I once loved. 

The Theme...

How is it fair?
when you got no one to listen to you?
when there's no one to hold you?
when there's no one to wipe those tears?
when there's no one to give you a hand against your worse fears?
while you sit around a dark corner;
watching them all smile;
and you silently fade away; time after time...

i remember when i made one mistake;
a mistake never wanted to make purposely;
after that everything just changed;
i remember when they used to stare at me with hate;
and i staring back at them...

at times when i watched myself in the mirror;
that reflected me and those eyes of mine;
which had nothing but hate for those who hated me...
sometimes these eyes of mine even cried;
but no one could see as it all happened inside...
invisible under those thread of darkness;
a place where you only feel despair;
and nothing more than being hurt;
why is it so unfair?

when you can't be the one who you want to be?
when dreams shatters to the ground like water during rains?
when people's endless glare turns your love for them into hate?
which leads me; and leaves me back to one place...

the place where all i see is darkness;
this thing i feel when i know and I've realized that I've lost my way back;
a place where I'm left with the gut and the most painful feeling of being in...

Loneliness...! 

You let me go

Another lonely day another lonely night
I sleep in our old bed holding my pillow tight
I have yet to close my eyes because all I see is you
and it breaks my heart just thinking of what you put me thru

You said that you loved me and that you'd never hurt me so
and now I cant stop thinking of the day I watched you go
you turned your back on me just like you always did
but i didn't expect for you to turn your back on the kids

You put everything else first and its a damn shame
and my heart is hurting so but I only have myself to blame
how could I have stayed all the years that I stayed with you
hearing and seeing you disrespect me even after all the shit I do

Funny as it seems even after all I still loved you
to me it just seemed like the normal thing to do
I let the cruel acts you did slide every day
instead I pretended like it didn't hurt and smiled like I was OK

I painted this pretty picture when I talked about you to my friends
it didnt take long for them to find out I could no longer pretend
that you were good to me and that you treated me so right
when family and friends would see me upset over another fight

How can I still think of you and wonder why you don't call
when I know you don't give a damn and not thinking of me at all
i cried so many times I think I've finally grew numb to the situation
the love has finally died, with not even an ounce of infatuation

Were done I think for good, at least thats how it feels
Ill never be the same again cause now I know this love wasn't real
you told me that you loved me and you would never hurt me so
but all I can still think about is the day I watched you go 

Forget .

Cracked down the middle,
split in two.
The pieces always,
remind me of you.

I see you alot,
and I wanna say hi.
But you just keep on,
walking by.

I need to forget,
I need to set my heart free.
So I'll keep on telling myself,
we aren't meant to be.

I can't wait for the day,
when it doesn't hurt anymore.
When it doesn't effect me,
right to the very core.

When I can say goodbye,
without one regret.
When I can finally say,
I'm not scared to forget. 

Alterations.

It seems friendships have become 
altered in an unusual way 
far from their normal state.
distorted faces I once knew 
now unrecognizable.

for when time was elastic 
it too stretched distance into miles 
forcing me to relocate where
surroundings change drastically
leaving me to adapt within
alterations of mundane life.

thus I absorb change 
as if it was meant to be. 

11.11.11

Not yours Anymore

You said you loved me. But who do you think you are to turn your back on me, to leave me crying, dying for your love. You use to hold me tight but now it's not even a kiss goodnight. I'm not going to be your shadow anymore. I'm taking one step out the door. 

La Ultima Noche (The Last Night)

No te vayas mi amor
Me pierdo sin tu calor
La manera que me tocas
Lentamente volviendome loca

Sensaciones consumiendo mi alma
Estorbando mi calma
Llantos en la oscuridad
Sobre los sonidos de la ciudad

Luces bajas y calientes
Iluminando nuestras frentes
Ojos azules y cafes
Analizando las pieles

Quimica de los cuerpos
Acciones rapidos y lentos
Anticipacion frustrante
Satisfaccion al instante

La noche convirtiendose a manana
Nuestro mundo ya se acaba
Te vas y pierdo el calor
Tristemente te digo, adios mi amor

Let's End Here...

Can Stead Back With You,
Now Is Impossible:
If I Can,
I Really Wish That I Could Forget You.
Forget You,The Only In My Heart!
I Thought My Dried The Tears Have Lost The Function Of Tears,
But Whenever I Think Of You,I Cried Again.
Oh~~~
Tears Really Are Endless.
Heaven Can't Be Better Then You Smile At Me...
Sorry...
Maybe Only Forget You,
Then I Can Be Free.
Since,It's Started From Here,
Then Let End It At Here.... 

Tock-ticking Away

What do I do at night now that you're not here
Do I sit here and reminisce with my greatest fears
Or do I look into the darkness of my eyes
To flash back to see what lies
In my thoughts, in my hands
Back to your every command

I see the eyes you weren't fond of
The beautiful light brown abyss
That I couldn't help but get lost in
Its quite the feeling to miss

I see when we held hands
And walked so easily
How proud I was to be there
By your side so freely

I see when I held you tightly in my arms
As you dozed off into sleep
Hearing the clock tock-ticking away
Wishing those hands wouldn't make a peep

Then my eyes were open
It was no longer dark
Now here comes the feeling
Of wishing we didn't start 

I Promise I Wont

Let me just say that I am happy for you
I hope the best for you two!
And I promise I'm proud of you for who you've become
And how much of the bad you've left undone

I promise I wont say anything of our past
The days we spent together up until your last
I wont say that I was asked first to be forever
Because it leaves a terrible taste I try not to remember

I promise I would change it if I could
And switch my answer to what it should
I wont say who laid in your arms before you had to leave
Because bringing it up makes it so hard to believe

Hard to believe that I promised a long time ago
That we would never separate and end this show
I wont say one memory of the years we had
We shouldve drank it all down before it went all bad

I promise I wont ever share another kiss with another like you
I wont stick around with another if they pulled shit you put me through
I wont say I regret being addicted to your craziness
Because at some point, all of your ignorance truly was bliss

I promise I wont erase you from my previous chapters
I'll be sure to include the heart aches, fights, and laughters
I wont say how I know exactly what pisses you off and how
I'll concentrate on our lives now...

I promise I wont mention how I could've been your fiance first
Because adding gasoline to that fire would be sure to make flames burst
I wont say how someone in this car became a cheater
I'm sure she'll feel like i did, maybe I'll ask when I meet her...

I promise I'm kidding, I wont mess your life up like you did mine,
I just cry at night when I'm alone, admitting to the rest that I'm fine
I wont say how much my stomach hurts to the thought of you
Must be the taste of bad memories or because how much i love you too

I promise my hearts not truly breaking, it just feels like it is
I don't think you'll find anyone who will care as much as i did
I wont say how painful it is when someone brings you up in conversation
I just throw good news in of you to save me from aggravation

I promise to fake a smile when asked about you
And put some good words in the conversation too
I wont put you down or let anyone know the truth
I promise I wont tell anyone else how much i still love you 

FIRST HEARTBREAK

Evrytime I think of you,
your sweet caress,
your unravelling adoration for me,
I crumble to my knees.
I fall down endlessly.
I close my eyes for a while,
to dream of you,
to once again witness your wonder,
to be with you temporarily.

In denial is what they call my state;
Infuriated is what I feel.
You were brave enough to love me;
You were undoubtingly courageous to leave me.

I was hurt when we parted ways;
I was a mess when you found another.
Am I that easy to be forgotten?
Am I that unworthy to be wanted a little longer?

Whatever happened to forever?
I start to doubt its existence.
The promises you made to me,
It broke me to million pieces.

Tell me how to let go.
Tell me how to love another.
I don't want to feel distress.
I don't deserve this hurt anymore. 

That's So Raven- Teach Your Children Well Part 2

‎What is romeo and Juliet ? Boy likes girl girl likes boy they both die crycrycry the end . 

bell rings... IM FREEEE! NO MA NO MORE MA NO MORE MA NO MORE MA NO MORE MA NO MORE MA NO MORE... MA? HEY MOM!! 

Testing

A Rocket To The Moon: Like We Used To (Audio)

Thanks Britney Kua for the song . You guys should and must listen man , the best song to cheer up .

Buenas noches

It just a dreams .

Has the world around me has changed?
Or it's just the time?
Why have we gone apart?
What we can do to make it stop?
Why can't I sense you as I used to?
Why am I not the guy around you?
Why everything around me feels so not true?
Why is this happening with me and you?
why don't we even have a clue?

I miss the old you and me;
but it just seems to disappear somewhere so suddenly,
it's hard to believe we have changed so much, 
it's really hard to believe that we can live without each other's touch...

It's the end of a line;
i guess together we're not meant to shine,
holding on as a friend feels nothing anymore;
it's as same as not being existing no more...

Dreams they're all just dreams,
how beautifully together we made them;
now we step on it like a big;
saying dreams don't come true,
how could we say that, when we didn't even try to hold on to...

We had so much in common,
it's all lost now,
i guess we just need to move on,
tendency of a human behavior;
sometimes so cold and hard;
sometimes so fragile and warm...
We just cling on to something else;
thinking about only one thing...

Wish nothing like this ever happened... 

Classic

Hello November , Hello SPM , Hello Bitchess 


Is the first day of November , did i feel excited ? Not at all . But at least better than past few months . SPM is in 22 days more , guess what ? I'm not really ready man . Oh well , I still got few more weeks to go , I shall bring books walking around man . Haha , this is what i"m doing a month before exam . I shall stop talking about SPM . 
Yes , being so emotion this past few months . Well , when everyone first thing though about me is I look like a MALAY dude , posting all the emo post in here , emo quotes in facebook status and facking spam the twitter ( OMGOSH , I have more than 9000th tweets now ) . Having a conversation with Liann , and she say almost half of my my tweets is all about emo feelings man . Well what to do ? you guys should not blame me for that , just blame that particular person who smash my bloody heart . I don't really get it now this people love to see the others get hurt , gosh no balls meh ? I just have 22 days more to go , then i will never ever see your face again in my life . THANK YOU LORD 




Gracias people , I need to learn spanish right after SPM . Anyone with me ? the fees pay yourself la . Hahaha 
Great News : Hannah just called , she is coming back this thursday . Means she reach here at thursday la . I god miss her man , she been away from this country since I was form 1 . she just came back every CNY and Christmas . Aha , meet her last year but only for a days because she have to catch up with the Uni life ( currently she in columbia ). She going Brown next year , gosh mother beta pi . hahaha mummy use to from that Uni but she never graduates there but she graduates in NYU ( Nan Yang Uni , Singapore ) then she meet my dad then move back here and marry . 
I'm waiting for you Hannah , I need my Dylan Candy Bar stuff , adrianna VS bra and gifts from dickson . 

If I Opened Up My Heart To You

I suppose you can say I lied, when I said I didn't care.
I guess when I wrote you off, that I wasn't being fair.
Well I was in over my head and taking it out on you,
I was losing something precious, I guess you were too.
I suppose you can blame me for my own unhappiness.
I guess that in the end I brought upon myself this mess.
Well I'm not sorry for the way I acted; just a little bit;
Okay, fine, maybe I'm sitting here regretting all of it,
But that doesn't mean that you'll ever get an apology.
At least not until the bitterness has nearly killed me.

I'm not sorry for the way I acted, that's just how I am.
I grew up learning how to properly not give a damn.
I'm just sorry that you loved me and I deceived you.
I never thought that you would think I loved you too.
I suppose that you could say that I over-analyzed it all.
You always said my critical thinking would be my fall.
I put words into places that they should never ever be,
And made something out of nothing, condemning me.
I broke your heart the hardest, never second guessed,
I just let you down so easily, but you know that best.

Now I can't help but wonder if I did something wrong.
Was I lying to myself and I just dragged you along?
I said I didn't love you, a heart like mine just can't feel,
But now I'm wondering if those words were ever real.
One day you gave up on me, and I understand why.
Now all I can ever think about is how I let you slip by.
All I had to do was look inside, at the feelings I ignore,
And I could have stopped you from walking out my door.
It kills me inside, now I know better but you're through.
I could have saved us, only if I opened my heart to you.