Keeping Up With Me

Tuesday, July 13

# What happen ?

For the past few weeks , I always in that particular moody mood. what happen actually ?
I just don't get it man and I'm leaving to Japan in 2 days time , isit now I should feel excited instead of moody shit.
Iman took me that , Arran , you should just let go of everything instead of keeping it in your heart , cause it will made you gone to moody in the max .
Should I just leave it and walk away or keep waiting for it to happen ? see I just don't get it .
I always asked myself , IS MIRACLES GONNA HAPPEN ?
I keep asking myself this fucking question and I did tell myself that yes but now......
I won't be answer the same question , I will answer WHEN IS GONNA TO HAPPEN ?
I have been waiting for 1.2.3 years and it doesn't happen at all.
I look back all the notes / Diares / and what ever I wrote about you , I feel I'm a retarted but sometimes I feel , damn it I fall for you again.
I use to crazy about you when I was in gred 9 ( form3) but now nah , maybe the feelings get tasteless by the age.
Why god chose me so surfer ? instead of you who hurt me the most of the time
Everytime I think I'm closer to the heart
Of what it means to know just who I am
I think I've finally found a better place to start
But no one ever seems to understand.
For now , nothing can cheer me up , I know how you guys try to cheer me up but it doesn't work on me. Sorry
maybe the problem is happen on me , so I have to deal with it by myself.
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy,
but I just realize want to be happy is not that easy....uurrghh
Arran , what happen to you ? are you feeling ok ? tell me what happen ?
all this question started , when my face start turning moody or I doesn't laugh or talk at all.
but would you ask this question to me ? I don't think you will give a damn about how does my face look like.
I hope before Japan , I can get over this shit mood if not I'm gonna get into that mood every single day started tomorrow of thursday .
sorry reader , I have alot of grammar error. sorry peeps.

Xx arran 2010

# Experience

In my chest there's a heart, a heart with a place for u.

if u leave i will not breathe, i could but i wouldn't bcoz there's no point of living if living is without u.
i live life to the fullest, and to the fullest of life i wanna live with u.
baby girl there's no other meaning of life to me, no other meaning of life other than u..

'nobody is perfect' they say and 'nobody is true'.
but u completed me and made me perfect and we know it's god damn true.
ups and downs and rise and fall we've been through.
yet,we're still standing firm on our feet together on the ground that i've made for u.

maybe there's a lesson we should learn,
maybe the word 'us' need to be worked harder to be earned.
maybe we just love one another, and maybe we just meant to be together.
i know its too early to be sure, but confidence won't hurt anyone any other.

we've learnt alot through experience but tend to forget more through days.
we know each other well for good reasons but knowing too well can get us damaged.

i don't know about anything and i'm not sure about everything.
but i do know that i love u, and i am sure that u love me too.

i am not a fighter, nor am i a lover
i'm just a person who will only fight for u,and to me u r wut love means

for all the things we've done and said, and for all the things that we'll do and say,
i wanna say thank u.u are more than someone or something to me.
u're everything.

i love u.

Lost in that direction

I feel lost. Lost than ever before. Maybe this is part of growing up? are fucking kidding.

So fuck it. I don't know who I am.

I feel like I haven't achieved anything in my 17 years of life. and having every heartbroken moment all the time .

Photography, music without a doubt still inspires me. But the only thing is, instead of pursuing in doing these things, I'm slacking off at home.

F**K 17 year old arran.

Sunday, July 11

# Silkygirl Cheer Competition

Hey hey guys , welcome back . wthell man , lolx . Cheer comp this year is not as fun as last year cause XAVIER is not in =( ! Anyways , congrats CRYENS from Sri Kuala Lumpur for the winning , you guys deserve everything. Can you guys share some goodies to me ? aha joking . ok picture babe.