# What happen ?

For the past few weeks , I always in that particular moody mood. what happen actually ?
I just don't get it man and I'm leaving to Japan in 2 days time , isit now I should feel excited instead of moody shit.
Iman took me that , Arran ,  you should just let go of everything instead of keeping it in your heart , cause it will made you gone to moody in the max .
Should I just leave it and walk away or keep waiting for it to happen ? see I just don't get it .
I always asked myself , IS MIRACLES GONNA HAPPEN ?
I keep asking myself this fucking question and I did tell myself that yes but now......
I won't be answer the same question , I will answer WHEN IS GONNA TO HAPPEN ?
I have been waiting for 1.2.3 years and it doesn't happen at all.
I look back all the notes / Diares / and what ever I wrote about you , I feel I'm a retarted but sometimes I feel , damn it I fall for you again.
I use to crazy about you when I was in gred 9 ( form3) but now nah , maybe the feelings get tasteless by the age.
Why god chose me so surfer ? instead of you who hurt me the most of the time
Everytime I think I'm closer to the heart
Of what it means to know just who I am
I think I've finally found a better place to start
But no one ever seems to understand.
For now , nothing can cheer me up , I know how you guys try to cheer me up but it doesn't work on me. Sorry
maybe the problem is happen on me , so I have to deal with it by myself.
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy,
but I just realize want to be happy is not that easy....uurrghh
Arran , what happen to you ? are you feeling ok ? tell me what happen ?
all this question started ,  when my face start turning moody or I doesn't laugh or talk at all.
but would you ask this question to me ? I don't think you will give a damn about how does my face look like.
I hope before Japan , I can get over this shit mood if not I'm gonna get into that mood every single day started tomorrow of thursday .
sorry reader , I have alot of grammar error. sorry peeps.

Xx arran 2010