Talking to myself .

Talking to myself and I feel,
Despair.
What has gotten into me ?
Perhaps i'm confused .
I cant see ,
The air isn't there ;
I wish I had someone to talk to ,
So I wouldn't hear this voice anymore .
Why must I creep
Into the corner of my mind ,
Where an echo turns to thought of suicide ?
I can't stand this ,
Go away.
I've been there before ,
And I don't want to return .
Shut up !
Please !
I wish i'd never done it , All of this;
It's left memories I can't let go ,
They hurt ,
Still burn in the back of my skull .
Will they ever leave me alone ?
Maybe I want to die ...
Maybe I should leave everyone ...
Who could bare knowing ,
They have a sick friend by their side ?
I would do the favor ,
Of saving you from myself  ;
At least one less crazy in the world, right ?
I just wish i could've done better ,
I've let my dreams wash away with the tears.
You would love me still, wouldn't you ?
I'm sorry if i leave you wondering ,
It's not my intention ;
I'm sick, weak
And it pains me to leave ,
But i have no choice .
It tells me I'm right ,
That I ought to go ;
To leave this place and heal my soul.
I loved you all with all my heart .
I've cried and begged to God these thoughts
Would one day go away ,
Though it had been in vain ;
I hear them countless times again and again .
Now all i ever do is wonder ,
Wonder of all the yesterdays ;
Sitting here with only them ,
Talking to my wicked self .

Breakdown .....

Tears falling down my cheak ,
whats happining to me ?
I used to be so strong ,
but lately I feel so weak .
all the stress brings me down ,
It gives me no choice ,
I cant seem to speak my mind ,
I just can't find my voice.
more cuts end up on my wrist ,
something else I got to hide ,
besides the smile I used to have ,
but now it's hid behind ,
the other part of me ,
the person I pretend to be ,
so you dont see my tears ,
I fight all my fears ,
I can't show emotion ,
so I store it all inside ,
but It builds up ,
I breakdown ,
I have to cut myself to let it all out .
The pills numb my pain ,
puts the stress off to the side ,
and when I bleed it all out ,
I feel better inside.

A piece on the word "slut"

Hello From Levain . Olio Arlio